I Don't Want This

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Shius

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I don't want this, in the arms of a God
I look up from the bloodstains, now engraved in my heart

A child deranged, determined to fight
A God sitting on his throne, he has killed a girl tonight
I, the weapon, weeping in his arms
There is nothing but dissonance, this hell that I have wrought
He says I'll be rewarded, and there is heaven in my sights
On the day that I die, I will be saved from my plight
Oh take my life, for I have killed my own daughter
Never wanted to do this, but I am forced now to comply
In the name of my faith, or in the name of my family
I did what I was told, yet I am punished with guilt
Dear child, you were always ill
But does that give me the right, to put you out of your misery
Forgive me, my child
Forgive me, dear God

In the name of a God, I do condemn
All the sinners that live without reason
We are not the same, my enlightenment
It will wipe off the stains from this treason
Yet is this right, or am I wrong
To judge a child for their condition
I don't want to do this, and all I hope
Is that heaven forgive me, for this -

What have I done, who have I become
I killed a child who had sinned, she was one of my own!
Holy powers that be, save me from these hands
I have done what was right, yet am I still in the wrong?
Blind belief in a God, blind belief in his powers
A girl deranged with psychosis, a soul now tainted with blood
Her spirit stained with a darkness, I could never understand
She chose to fight against a power, we could never disobey

Was I wrong?
Was I right?
Was I wrong?
Was I -

In the name of a God, I do condemn
All the sinners that live without reason
We are not the same, my enlightenment
It will wipe off the stains from this treason
Yet is this right, or am I wrong
To judge a child for their condition
I don't want to do this, and all I hope
Is that heaven forgive me, for this -

Forgive me, my child
Forgive me, dear God
I know not what I have done
I know not what I've become

There's a darkness in our hearts, I am blinded by the light
My God bestowed upon me, to have my child sacrificed
For the better good, for the good of us all
She never knew his existence, yet she wanted to fight
To kill a god she said, to kill a god and be free
There's no light without her, there's no sinner here
Heaven knows not the good that people did as they lived
But the sins are illuminated, and I realize
If I kill myself, I will not be forgiven
But if I kill myself now, can I meet you at the gates
Negotiate a deal, I know the Devil wants me
If I kill myself now, can you take my soul instead
There's a child I loved, there's a God that gave me
Everything I ever wanted in this lifetime
Tell me child, what's it like, on the other side?
I don't know why I ask, for I won't meet you there

Forgive me, my child!
Forgive me, dear God!
I know not what I have done!
I know not what I've become!

In the name of a God, I do condemn
All the sinners that live without reason
We are not the same, my enlightenment
It will wipe off the stains from this treason
Yet is this right, or am I wrong
To judge a child for their condition
I don't want to do this, and all I hope
Is that heaven forgive me, for this rope

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