The Brown Note Ballad of Buster McBalls the Albanian Porta-Potty Gopher (Albanian Crapsody in E Minor)

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I awoke in a porta-potty
And inside this porta-potty, there was a urinal
And at this urinal, there was a gopher
And then I thought to myself,
"Porta-potties don't have urinals."
And then I thought to myself,
"Porta-potties don't have gophers.
They just have the hole and the plastic container
The plastic container that you shit into and has the shit where the shit goes."
But then I asked this gopher who he was
And he said

(One, two, three, four)
My father was a joker
My mother was a smoker
Met a real bad bloke
Called him the midnight toker
"Cold McDonald"
"[background talking]"
"Get on with it."
"Get on with it."
"We don't have all night"
Cold McDonald had a farm
Full of weed and dope
Had a foxy lady
She was hot as smoke

I'm Cold McDonald, I am very rich
I have lots of money, keep your hands off of my bitch
I am Cold McDonald, my heart is filled with greed
If you try to f*ck my lady, I'll make your asshole bleed, woo!

Dear Rachel Slurs, I know you don't know me
But I think we'd be like, really good match and stuff
Like shit, I-I can make your feline animal cry until it went blind, you feel me
Nah, I'm playing, but, uh
Unless you into that shit, I mean, that's cool and all
Anyways you probably wondering about my dick and nipple size
Well, aha, they fun size, heheh, cause-cause they fun to play with, you feel
Ah, anyway, anyway, so you sign up for women empowerment club
And, shit, I-I think that's pretty, like, cool and shit
Like, I, I-I'm feminist sometimes too, y'know
Like we have similar hobbies, so, uh
I think you should give me a chance 'cause we connect like puzzle pieces
Anyway, uh, what you think about me stopping by your place later tonight?
I'm not bring condom, though
I think that shit kinda oppresses the genitalia that we dick folk carry
And, uh I don't-I don't stand for that kind of persecution, ya feel?
Also, I'm psychic, like I see the future, so, uh,
You're probably gonna say yes to this letter, so see you at 8

I am Cold McDonald, I own Rachel Slurs
I thought I told you once before to keep your hands off her
I am Cold McDonald, Buster don't you see?
You tried to f*ck my lady, now your asshole's gonna bleed, woo!

Buster
Mate
What are you doing here
Ohhhh far out, really?
Are you-are you-are you fucking kidding me, I mean, it's-
It's like rule number 7, alright yeah, "You shall not commit adultery"
I, y'know, I don't think I could have that much clearer than I did, so
I apologize y'know if-if that wasn't clear to you somehow, but
Ugh, Buster
Mate, what ah-what are we gonna do with you?

(Balls)

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