13 years later

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We talked about it
Then it came in fruition
Living life
Relaxed in a nightmare
I could tell you about it
Thirteen years later here I stand
I'm facing the what I'm facing
The countless faces of reality
Without the drug induced illusion of comfort
My anxiety is higher than the high skies
Compounded by the desensitization of violence
Lately
My energies been lacking consistency within social interactions
Side effects yeah I got side effects
Side effects from wiping my mothers tears from the penitentiary
Thirteen years later
I'm not the same person
She remembers me to be
Thirteen years later
I'm not the same person I remember
Too many decembers in captivity Got my heart in the freezer
Thirteen years later
I'm looking for beauty
But in a horrific landscape
My path clearly litter by active land minds I'm shell shocked
The epitome of a dangerous mind
My patience thin
Thin as michelle pfeiffer
This aint no gangstas paradise
This is virtually a no mans land With your every second is vital
I'm content within the loud silence Of my imperfections
I was trying to heal from the
Trauma but the cold showers wasn't helping
I was trying to heal from the trauma the cold showers wasn't helping
I'm showing up with discarded diamonds
I'm showing out with american pharaohs
Fatal connections built on substance
Thirteen years later
I think I'm seeing ghosts
But that's just my youth
Haunted by a blind belief in you
Husband
Father high school graduate Graduation of thought
My perception
Shifted toward the elements above
I'm so below a livable temperature
My method survival questioned
Principles interrogates
Guantanamo
Basing your information on me off What you heard
Only adds up to hearsay
Reality stranger than fiction but I'm stronger than ever
You wouldn't recognize it because You aint kept in touch
I'm disgusted by your lack of effort
My whereabouts was always Public information that means
Never in question I'm just being frank with you
We still brothers
Thirteen years later
Birth of you three the poet under Harsh conditions
Thirteen years later
I'm nine years late with the fresh flowers for your grave stone
I'm disappointed I disappointed you
And its crazy
Because your opinion is one of the only that ever matter to me
I miss you paw paw thirteen years later

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