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YRU VEXxD

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I keep asking stupid questions
Getting smarter answers
Made some plans
Some hours went
And then I called and canceled
Told my friends I'm working on myself
Been like a constant canvas
So it's every time that we go out
I'm not a constant cancer
I'm controversial
In a sense I'm like real double standard
I'm a fan of saying something real
Amongst the fake and scamming
But still I fail to visualize my own emotion's damage
So I take it out on those I love
Abandon all my manners
My legendary rants on average
Get shut down by Cameron
And my candles burning
Both my ends are far beyond repairing
I'm really scared one day I turn on forward facing cameras
Just to see that truthfully
I grew up to be both my parents
And yes
I'm aware of hatred in myself
I wait for change
But ADD
Made me impatient with myself
21 I end up in that inpatient with myself
And crisis center workers saw me with that pain I had around
I still remember feeling like I was too good to be in hell
Last September when I look in your face and told you well
I'm not okay but that's okay
And I don't need your fucking help
And just the other day
I did the same
And still I Fucking felt
Like I was right
And I wasn't
But was too proud to admit it
Every night
shrugging off
the thoughts that's keeping me from sleeping
I was off
20 shots
The night we talk and got me weeping
Bout that bitch who took my heart
I took her time so now we even
I ain't right
But my wrongs had left me stronger than I seem
At least that's what I tell myself when I get caught up in my dream
Since a teen
I was sure I wouldn't make it to 18
Now in my 20s I do struggle to figure out what it means
That I'm still living
In the present
But this presence still been aiming
At my soul and all I know is I'm not sure of who I'm saving
Me or you
I'll tell the truth
That back when I was Trynna end it
Only thing that kept me going was not knowing how you'd take it
So I just
Told myself to not let all that shit effect you
Told me
"keep me from that bottle"
then I held that shit against you
And for months
Told myself ain't nobody know what you been through
Homie told me don't you know we doing all this protect you
From yourself
Cause you don't
Seem to understand the damage
That you doing
To yourself
And to all your fucking family
Been around
Long enough to say
That substance doesn't scare me
But what does is waking up as someone else
And fucking clearly I am
I keep asking stupid questions
Getting smarter answers
Made some plans
Some hours went
And then I called and canceled
Told my friends I'm working on myself
Been like a constant canvas
So it's every time that we go out
I'm not a constant cancer
I'm controversial
In a sense I'm like real double standard
I'm a fan of saying something real
Amongst the fake and scamming
But still I fail to visualize my own emotions damage

So I take it out on those I love
F*ck
So I take it out on those I love
F*ck

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