A Piece of Me.

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MR. SiLLY fLOW

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Eroded away brain
Can't stay home
Irritable take a break
Pain like a grain in my iris

Hyper-focussed, moody
Want it all to make sense
Want it all to go away
Maybe the lens of beauty is in the mystery
Tatters of cloth with stories of my victories
And defeats. lift my spirit I feel weak right now

Liable for no one but me or so I think
But I've always been one to hold the family down

Meanwhile, feet sinking to the depths
Denial grieving for no reason feeling senile
And out of touch

Why can't I think straight?
Why can't I see straight?
Why can't I change the outlook of my own fate?

Why is it all so hard?
Why am I anxious at home?
Why does it feel like I try but get the same results?

How do I fix this?
Where does it all begin?
What is the other choice?
Because right now I'm hurting

When does the growth start?
When is the breakthrough?
Holding out for so long without seeing new views

I'm talking to you God because no one else gets it
Or maybe they do and that's part of my questions

I don't want a premature trip up to heaven
And I'm scared that if I die I won't get in

Got truly saved when I was just eleven
Baptized twice
Burnt coal on my lips
And prophecied to when I was a young kid
But since high school, it felt like a regression

Hospitalizations
And medications
Therapists telling me different

I was just a kid last night, now I'm looking for my innocence
I was wandering, the street lights guiding, walk with vigor and
Searching for a hand to hold, endless sea of predicaments

Mend and weave, efferent nerves, feel it when I bleed
Blended sea of emotions at varying degrees

Swimming through the tumult ain't easy
Looking for Jesus while he walks on the seas
White knuckle gripping anything to find sweet release

A piece of my mind
A piece of my heart
A piece of my life
I'm falling apart

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