Shapes

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Nick Austin

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And somewhere in the past
I think I lost the faith
I think about the future
It all just looks the same
I wonder if I'll ever wake up and see what I'm supposed to be
Or if I'll be here wondering these things 'till I evaporate
I'm always looking up and seeing stars like good, God
The messages I'm picking up: Some other worldly lessons
They talk to me in languages that I can't understand but I can pick up on the vibe
I relate to how it knows I'm guessing
All my memories in flashes like I'm sitting in the passenger and flying past these trees With my eyes closed
The sun behind them flicker color behind my eyelids
I see stop motion movies of these things I have repressed
How cleverly it falls into ashes; I'm living through a massacre
Dying like the leaves that my mind knows
Those one inside them, bitter lovers like the time is all me not focusing truly on these Things I can't ingest and I just want to know
Am I alive
The way I see things, maybe I already died
I am cursed to walk through life just never knowing why
Always repeating my mistakes as I move out of time (right)
I just want know
Are you alright
The way I see things I think maybe you just say you're fine
But it's worse to talk
You might be better showing right
Receiving different shapes on different nights
Leave me to wonder, free me to cover these other colors
Be me to mother the children of what you buried here
See me, your lover being another believer but the
Things that you planted will never bloom in a sea of fear
I'm always slipping, I'm always giving you too much time
I'm always sticking to something that is already dying
I'm always flipping through thoughts around to look out for you
But you can never go out of your god damn way for mine
I'm always gripping the last little bit of sanity in hopes you'll notice me screaming with no voice to convey the stress
And I've been hanging here for so long that I don't remember me or who I was before I Put myself out on a limb for less
So God be with me as I let go of the fucking ledge
I have to know if what's underneath me is certain death
Or if there's always been some type of a safety net
You have to leap to know either way, either way I'll rest

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