The Fuzz That Never Was

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The Cruel Earth

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Once there was a fuzz
Or was there fuzz?
Perhaps it was
A fuzz that never was!
What was fuzz?
Fuzz was hard to see
And had no smell
Poor little fuzz
Had nowhere to dwell
Fuzz found a toenail
And burrowed underneath
But the foot's owner was not happy
His toenail was fuzz-breached
"No one wants a fuzzy toe!
This just won't do!
Go fuzz! Go!"
Fuzz found a brain
And settled down inside
But the brain's owner was bugged
By the cloudiness of mind
"This fuzz is scrambling my brain
Get out of my head, fuzz-buzz
Before I go insane!"
Fuzz left the head
Homeless again
Where does fuzz belong?
On the door? On the window? On the floor?
Fuzz landed on fruit
But was chased away
"No one likes fuzzy fruit!"
The fruit did say
Fuzz landed on a bear
But wasn't noticed there -- there was too much hair!
"Go away! I'm already fuzzy!" the bear did say
Fuzz landed on a cat, a dog, and a mouse
But, just like the bear,
Fuzz was not needed there
Fuzz needed a house!
Sad fuzz came to rest
On the strings of a guitar
And when the strings were played
Fuzz became a star!
Fuzz made the guitar growl, howl, and sing
Fuzz turned that simple guitar
Into a very special thing
Fuzz gave the guitar a commanding voice
Once other players heard fuzz,
Fuzz was the guitar players' choice
Does fuzz buzz like a chainsaw?
You bet fuzz does! You bet fuzz was!
Music makers and music lovers
Buzzed about fuzz
Fuzz was so warm and fuzzy
Rich and musical
Gritty, loud, and muddy!
Fuzz was fun
Fuzz is fun
Fuzz was the funnest thing under the sun!
Fuzz sounded great
With every instrument
Even the human voice
Improved with fuzzy intent
Fuzz and guitar formed a bond
A special love that goes on and on
Fuzz is the fuse, guitar the fire
Fuzz guitar lifts our spirits ever higher
Fuzz fills the empty hole
Deep inside a restless soul
Hail, hail rock 'n' roll
You're bad to the bone
Now fuzz had found
A forever home!

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