McClane vs. McCallister (feat. Cutright)

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Ohh, that's Isaac
'Twas the night before Christmas & all through the land
A heated debate had divided the fans
A mischievous young fellow, and a chap with a badge
But who'd be triumphant if e'er they should clash
Up on the housetop
Click-click-click, no reindeer
That's the sound of my
Blick-blick-blicky, McClane here
And McCallister talkin'
Slick-slick-slick? I'll place fear
In ya heart, finish what Marv & Harry started
Down in the basement
Boom-boom-boom, no furnace
The sounds are made with
Dooo-dooo-dooo, the burner
My brother hangs in his
Room-room-room, makes certain
That John McClane knows he's never to old to be afraid
Nine-millis & battle plans both had been drawn
And the traps were all set by Kevin, for John
As two Christmas legends prepared to engage,
"Welcome to the party, pal" the eldest exclaimed
I'm Roy Rogers
A fly in the ointment, monkey in the wrench
A pain in the backside to bad guys
Especially when in a pinch
And you need prep time, 'lil spoiled kid
I deploy quick
So many rounds off in your chest, Mr. Duncan'll tell you I'm not to toy with
This old man think victory finna come easy
I was on that trap or die way before Young Jeezy
Please, he ain't a threat, he's just a try-hard
Who takes Viagra during shootouts so he can Die Hard
I'll have Mac sleepin' with a Mac
And peeing his mattress, no question
Dethrone Fuller as the family bed wetter
That's called Succession
Or left in pieces like the mannequins in your basement
Separate ya from your family forever
That's a permanent vacation
Them blank shots
Word to Harry, I flame tops
This lame cop get done dirtier than his tank tops
I'll dissect you
Ain't nothing about this guy special
Plus I know you're Home Alone too 'cause your wife left you
Up on the housetop
Click-click-click, no reindeer
That's the sound of my
Blick-blick-blicky, McClane here
And McCallister talkin'
Slick-slick-slick? I'll place fear
In ya heart, finish what Marv & Harry started
Down in the basement
Boom-boom-boom, no furnace
The sounds are made with
Dooo-dooo-dooo, the burner
My brother hangs in his
Room-room-room, makes certain
That John McClane knows he's never to old to be afraid
So the tide continued to shift back-and-forth
With the trade of wisecracks & excessive force
A Lieutenant's one liners, a trout sniffer's retort
But neither'd give up, both were thirsty for more
Like the Polka King of the Midwest
Kids get left in funeral parlors
Light 'em up like my cigarettes
'Cause Nothing Lasts Forever
Besides the ice up in my veins
See I ain't yanking ya chain
When I say that I'll put the iron to your face
You probably think because you're older than me
You'll have the advantage
I don't even have a gun permit
I still wet bandits
Step up and get nailed
I'll bring the cans out
You'll get hot metal as soon as you reach ya hands out
Yippee-ki-ya mother forgot ya more than once
And your siblings ain't even sense that you was gone
Like hiding a buzz
You're such a disease
If aftershave made you scream
You're done
So call me, Peter McCallister, the father
That's right, made you my son
So now you wanna be a father
I wish ya daughter knew
Wait, didn't the dad from Good Times wipe the floor with you? (Dyn-o-mite!)
Couldn't fix ya Family Matters with Carl Winslow
Can't throw all ya problems out of thirty-story windows
It's all talk boy, you're a nuisance
What are micro machines to feet that have walked through broken glass shoeless? Useless
Not a Tiger but like Ellis you must be using
Clueless like Argyle bumping Stevie's music on a loop,
Parked in the bottom of the garage of the plaza
With the Bear that I bought for my daughter
Now I have a machine gun
Ho-Ho-Ho, no Santa
More like angel with a filthy
Soul-oul-oul, & plans to
Put you & Marley in a
Hole-Hole-Hole, your traps are
Corny, absurd, like the pigeon lady it's for the birds
As smoke in the theatre of war would soon clear
A definitive victor would surely appear
But the burden is yours to judge who won this fight
So Merry Christmas ya filthy animals
Happy trails and good night

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