Addicted

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Still Cameron

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I'm addicted to the ways that you hurt me
Cursed me with love
A love I never wanted to lose
Now I'm stuck with it
Lovestruck with it
Confused nights with days and now I'm dazed and confused
It hurts to say sorry
But you don't even have to apologize to get me to calm down
All I need is the thought that you are not fine
I hope all is well even though you're not mine
'Cause every other day everywhere I look
Anytime I'm alone it's never safe
It's not a feeling I'd wish on my worst enemy
But honestly you wouldn't last a second in my place
So it's settled
I'm stronger than I've ever been because of you
I'm sorry for the times you wanted me there just to comfort you
I'm sorry for the fact that I would ever fall in love with you
I'm sorry that I'm screaming out my feelings because I'm done with you

I'm dumb enough to let it interfere with me
You appear to be coming out of this perfectly
I start to take it personal when moving on is something you were ready for
I was wrong for being ready for more
I second guess 'cause most of the time I'm not correct
I fully devoted all my feelings and my emotions
And my time and energy upsetting when it's a waste
'Cause I've given it all away with nothing to gain

The pain heals but never goes away
It's permanent
Human development occurs in certain conditions
I'd be okay if I never run into her again
But if I did I'd be immersed in addiction
I'm learning everything about me
And what it means to be completely overrun with feeling weak
Playing my strengths
Taking what I love to the bank
I'm stuck in my brain and it's feeding into sleeplessness
I don't know what day of the week it is
All I know is that I'm missing out
I'm giving out
I'm skipping town to lay in bed and pray I'm headed down a better road
In the morning I hope the sun does show
And does glow with the radiance I've patiently waited for
A happy me is undebatably amazing and a long time coming but I'm easily mistakable

And busy feeling sorry for myself
None of these problems are the property of anybody else
I don't want em to be
I don't wanna talk about it
I just wanna get the weight off my chest
It's fueled by emotion anger and jealousy
How could I let a potential lover get the best of me
How could I neglect all the time I didn't invest in me
Especially when I am the only person who should question me

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