Uber Driver Tryna F-ck'n Kill Me

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Are they a good driver
I don't know
But I'm in the backseat no seatbelt
Hey hey hey mother fucker lets go
Let me check your ratings
Check your stars
Don't ever judge a book by a cover
An Uber driver by their car
Just ran a red light
No big deal
Do I have a Ted Bundy wannabe
Jefferey Dahmer at the wheel
I think my Uber driver's trying to f*ck'n
Kill me
My Uber driver's trying to f*ck'n
Kill me
Onto the freeway doing eighty five
Gonna have a good case for a refund
If I make it home alive
I said this is not my exit
He said don't be afraid
I know a shortcut
And my Uber apps been fuckin' up all day
He turned around and if looks could kill
Looks like I got a racing John Wayne Gacy
Jack the Ripper at the wheel
I think my Uber driver's trying to f*ck'n
Kill me
My Uber driver's trying to f*ck'n
Kill me
Opened up the glovebox looked in my eyes
He had a pair of gloves
Oil change receipts
And zip ties
I texted my best friend I think I'm about to die
He said I gotta use the restroom
Could I please come inside
I think my Uber driver's trying to f*ck'n
Kill me
I think my Uber driver's trying to f*ck'n
Kill me
My Uber driver's trying to f*ck'n
Kill me
My Uber my Uber my Uber my Uber my Uber
My Uber my Uber my Uber my Uber my Uber
My Uber my Uber my Uber my Uber
Kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me
And if I'm being totally honest
That was the fastest I've ever made it home
When I asked the guy why he was driving so fast
He said man
I just know how important time is to everybody
Like to get everybody home
As safe and fast as possible
I said well what's with the gloves dude
He said man I got fuckin' eczema man
Every once in a while I get a flare up
I don't like to creep people out ya know
Hell these oil change receipts
Thats just cus I like to keep ole Betsy here
In tip top shape
I said well what's with the zip ties
He said oh that's just incase I need to
Tie somebody up and cut their fuckin' heart out
Hahahaha I'm just kiddin' brother
You never know
When you're gonna need a zip tie
Amiright
Hey man you ain't gotta tip or nothin
But I'd share appreciate five stars from ya
Oh and don't worry about the restroom
I just farted a little bit
And bought myself some time
Thanks for riding

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