emulate a feeling

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Micah Callari

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Hid a knife inside a box that lay beneath my bed
Walk and talk all fearless but I'm petrified of death
I'm even more a disappointment if I wuss out of the act
I tried to emulate a feeling but my skin still stayed intact

Hi and goodbye
To this new you that I just met
Is this as good as it gets
Between you and me
And why
Must you leave so soon when you could stay with me
'Cause I'm not ready to see
The world, please

Wait up, wait up, for me (Please)
Wake up, wake up, with me (Please)
We do it all together, you and me forever
'Cause I'm not up to measure, I just can't take the pressure

Try not to let them get to me
Staying calm, unstable mentally
I made an album to keep myself from reeling
I made an album to emulate a feeling
They're in denial, should I just spell it out (Not yet)
I write in code as a way of yelling out
I wrote a song to keep myself from screaming
I wrote a song to emulate a feeling

My oh my
I guess I thought that you'd play nice
I guess I should've guessed twice
'Cause I guessed wrong
Now I
Must now find
My tally-man who's keeping track
Of when I get to unpack
My trauma in a song

Staring in the mirror, making eye contact
Don't forget my name, gotta pull you back
Can't count to four, must I be a sleuth
Mangos can fly and I swear it's true
You're running on, walk in walk out
Unfair, when the sun shines
I guess it's okay, okay, okay, okay, okay
(Do I need to repeat myself again because)

Try not to let them get to me
Staying calm, unstable mentally
I made an album to keep myself from reeling
I made an album to emulate a feeling
They're in denial, should I just spell it out (No)
I write in code as a way of yelling out
I wrote a song to keep myself from screaming
I wrote a song to emulate a feeling

At one, I was happy, I was normal, I was fine
Then at two, I was told I'm special and my parents cried
Yeah, I know the next three years happened, but they don't come to mind
Try and forget what could've been, forget the part of me that died (Yippee)

I'm not surprised with my track record that I don't have a therapist
I guess I'm too stuck worrying if I look cute while wearing this
I haven't cut my hair and tell myself it's an experiment
I say I'm not depressed because my mental state's not perilous

Wake up at eleven some days
Barely back alive on Monday
Twitter tells me 'bout my country
Move on drown my fears with funnies

Hahaha, self-deprecation just to cope
If they ever give you funny looks just tell them it's a joke
If they really knew me well then they'd be worried when I spoke
Because beneath all of the lies, I'm barely breathing I might choke

Memories from my camera roll
A time when I felt good
Felt understood
And life's been creeping up to take its toll
To keep my end of the deal
And now it hurts to feel

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