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Decuma

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Okay
Thin line between help and harm
Years short, but the seconds long
I can't help that I get attached
You lose things and can't get them back
Thin line between help and harm
Years short, but the seconds long
I can't help that I get attached
You lose things and can't get them back
You lose
Make my birth name feel like a slave name, it rolls off the tongue wrong
F*ck it, just call me Decuma
Told you she touched me, he laughed like
You getting lucky, I wish I were you
The difference is that he wishes it
In fact I heard he starts bitching if he hasn't slid it in by minute sixty
His ex girlfriend exclaims, he hit me
You'd think she'd get where I'm coming from when no one takes you seriously
But she touched me and said, if you speak up, imma scream
I suppose it's just a black man thing
It's a different set of laws for niggas
He's giving black eyes cause of blue balls and he's free to walk
Meanwhile I get in trouble when I say that I'm being stalked
You made my birth name feel like a slave name, but
Can't we talk
I learned how to play your favorite song
I hate it when you're here but I'm too young to make it on my own
And I'm afraid of what will happen when you're gone
So I learned your favorite song, it goes
I think they love to fetishize me cause adults love to see sharp minors like Chopin
Growing smokescreen, your dreams blow away and they fall flat
Before he grabs the pole and puts on a percussion concierto
March you to your funeral all quick like
My biggest dream is to die in my sleep instead of violently
And I was told I set the bar too high
Just tap dancing for the crackers hoping I don't die
You told me men were purely sexual creatures, I tensed up and felt I had a fever
My heartbeat could shake the ether, my anger could drown a god
My anger gone get me killed, you feel me
It comes out as a joke, that's the only way that you hear me
I felt I was a product to be consumed
A jester in front of a tyrant, knowing they're fighting for life
And if they stops entertaining, they know they'll by dying soon
The police driving down I-95 in five, murder in the eyes, so
Can't we talk
I learned how to play your favorite song
I hate it when you're here but I'm too young to make it on my own
And I'm afraid of what will happen when you're gone
So I learned your favorite song, it goes
I tried to scrub until I didn't feel dirty
My skin peeled
Then the blood felt exalting, at least the skin heals
Tell me why doesn't God love me the way that god made me
Tell me, how do I love myself when you tell me god hates me
Trauma turned me dualist, if I told myself I wasn't my body, I wouldn't want do what I do To It
See, the blood felt exalting, and at least the skin heals
So the cutting turned religion, and I worshiped it for years
I thought things would be different, a talent show has a winner
I've always been told I'm gifted, but this is a different mission
I thought things would be different if I could just prove my worth
I didn't get that I was used, and they'd just move to someone new
Why is every love I'ver ever known conditional
Every pain I've ever known centrifugal
Every religion, physical
I'm so alone with my secrets
And so I shared them with this fucking stuffed tiger just so that something could hear it
Can't we talk? I learned how to play your favorite song
I hate that this is how it goes, but I'm too young to make it on my own
And I'm afraid of what'll happen when you're gone, so I learned your favorite song
It goes
Nobody knows the trouble I see
Glory, glory, glory, hallelujah
Sometimes I'm up, sometimes I'm down

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