to stay lonely

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Aidan Govan

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I should die
I should live
I should give back
Taking what it is
Life's a trip
Couldn't hit back
People don't much of me been years and I'm still fine with that
Still would've appreciated a lil pat on the back
But if I give them that they'd rather stab
So I said f*ck this shit
Just to be around me is a fucking gift
At the same time that's my excuse to stay lonely this
Is my fucking prime, my abyss
This my fucking bliss

Back at the crib my homie - pulled through
Said he told his mother he was bi he ain't know what to do
Heard she was steaming boutta kick him out or something
Let's lessen your mind stop by Sonic and pick up some food
He acting tough but really need someone to talk to
My ears always open let it out I'm never judgeful dude
He started tearing up won't interrupt I'm not that rude
But I thought if I opened up he'll feel more comfort too
So when he's done I go into my life and how I grew
How I been so anxious and I don't know how I'll power through
I had just started but he stopped me right at the preview
"Aidan you don't think your life is hard as - do you" like shit
I ain't know this a competition
Now I feel embarrassed should've kept it in my prison
I was just tryna help but I guess that it didn't
Least he got it out I told him this a new beginning uh
Reminds me of a Friendsgiving back at - house
Way that she was texting was disrespect had me in doubt
But I still pulled made some taters and I brought 'em down
Cuz I wanted to see her and her fam, chill on the couch
But see the problem was how she reacts towards her spouse
Called me sensitive it only worsened when I stood my ground
So when its pent up and its built up bomb is ticking now
Separate myself from everyone went to her room and slouched
She joined me later went to sleep but I'm up like an owl
Packing up, I'm boutta leave, I'll catch some Z's back at my house
But when I looked at her asleep I dropped my bag and frowned
Middle of the night that was my baby can't leave with no sound
But I can't tell her either she'll just think its stupid, ouch
So I sat my ass on the ground and let the tears come out
Eventually I slipped back in her bed, her pillow drowned
Hoping she still cared about me, make a decision I should

I should die
I should live
I should give back
Taking what it is
Life's a trip
Couldn't hit back
People don't much of me been years and I'm still fine with that
Still would've appreciated a lil pat on the back
But if I give them that they'd rather stab
So I said f*ck this shit
Just to be around me is a fucking gift
At the same time that's my excuse to stay lonely this
Is my fucking prime, my abyss
This my fucking bliss

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