I Wanna Be a Lifeguard

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Blotto

Blotto was a rock band from Albany, New York which mixed music and humor. They were formed in 1978 out of the remains of the Star Spangled Washboard Band, a "post-hippie" comedy jugband. Blotto music was a sort of combination of New Wave and soul/R&B, but with comical songs. It began as basically as a pick up band; three of the Washboard Band, Bowtie Blotto, Sarge Blotto and Broadway Blotto, as well as a drummer and a bassist, at The Metro, then known as 17 Maple Ave. They were soon joined by Blanche Blotto who contributed vocals and keyboards and was the figure of the drumhead lady that became their logo. They began to have a following that led them to New York clubs such as The Ritz, SNAFU, Eighty-Eight, My Father's Place and others. Vin Scelsa of WNEW … more »

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Selling shoes
Another loser working in a shopping mall
9 to 5
A slave driver telling me "Get on the ball!"
A crowded store
I kneel before them
Misery beyond compare
Sweaty socks
A lady boxer
What's she got against fresh air?
I want an ocean and some sunscreen lotion
Take me to the beach with a thousand pretty girls in reach

I, I, I want to be a lifeguard (help, help, help, help)
I, I, I want to guard your life
I, I, I want to be a lifeguard (lifeguard, lifeguard)
Hardly any clothes (lifeguard)
Sand between my toes (lifeguard)
White stuff on my nose
Selling shoes
Another loser working in a shopping mall
I'm getting fat
What does it matter?
Nobody cares at all
But next July, I'll say goodbye to every out-of-it, dull-witted fool
Convert their feet into meters, marking distance at the swimming pool
Summer blondes revealing tanlines
I'll make more moves than Allied Van Lines

I, I, I want to be a lifeguard (be a big man, now get a great tan, now)
I, I, I want to guard your life
I, I, I want to be a lifeguard (lifeguard, lifeguard)
Sitting on my chair (lifeguard)
In the salty air (lifeguard)
White stuff on my nose
I, I, I want to be a lifeguard (help, help, help, help)
I, I, I want to guard your life
I, I, I want to be a lifeguard (lifeguard, lifeguard)
Lounging on the deck (lifeguard)
Whistle 'round my neck (lifeguard)
White stuff in my nose
I, I, I want to be a lifeguard (lifeguard, lifeguard)

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