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In the past when I knew less than I know now, which isn't much
I slept inside Peter O'Toole's drinking stories 
I wept on the unmade bed
isn't congruent with my love life
Just have Ms. O'Toole take care of your needs
(Facades are boring when it's 15 going on 35)
It starts out so small
There was Johnny McGurk
Who was scared stiff of work
And a man from Westmeath called Malone
There was Slugger O'Toole
Who was drunk as a rule
There was Johnny McGurk
Who was scared stiff of work
And a man from Westmeath called Malone
There was Slugger O'Toole
Who was drunk as a rule
Wonder Bread
He ate Burger Kings, he was well fed.

He went to Hollywood to see Peter O'Toole
He stole a Rolls Royce and drove in a pool.

They took
called Malone
There was Slugger O'Toole
Who was drunk as a rule
And Fighting Bill Tracy from Dover
And your man, Mick McCann
From the banks

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