Suicide Doors

Its okay This might be the day I die and its okay And I ain't even trippin Ella Mai Cause if I die at least I finally got the chance to get away From all this shit that I been feeling that I'll prolly never say So I just hide behind my high until I find a better way Don't ignore the signs when they be right in front ya face And start to cry when I decide to take a shot at my escape, unh Dancing with the devil this his favorite song I ain't sell my soul for nothin please don't take this wrong My salvation gone can't replace a sacred bond Last time I got on my knees I chose to eat a wasted blonde I'm conflicted, drug addicted, sick and twisted This year all a nigga want for Christmas is some big forgiveness No ones business Who I'm doin, how I'm livin', just how much I'm sinnin' Niggas judgin man that shit a given Gotta keep it stealth All them years of therapy ain't help my mental health Keep it to myself cause they won't ever understand And I don't know if I dont want em to or they just never can And so my go to when I'm stressin' is some pussy, porn, or percocet And if I'm still awake that mean it ain't fulfil its purpose yet Living everyday and still ain't figure out my purpose yet And life without no purpose something I consider worse than death Smokin' inna rain Alexander Wang I got brand name strains Demons gettin slain Borderline insane Niggas tell me I need help and I say straight up like la flame I like sittin' in the dark and sippin on some even darker shit I keep myself apart from all these niggas, don't need partnerships Cause I ain't got no heart I burn these bridges on some arson shit Cause I be feelin' different round these niggas on some martian shit But I just want a chance nothin more Crying out for help and ain't get nothin' but ignored No one ever listens til you bleedin onna floor Or your thoughts of suicide turn to suicide doors Thoughts of suicide turn to suicide doors Thoughts of suicide turn to suicide doors Its okay This might be the day I die and its okay And I ain't even trippin Ella Mai Cause if I die at least I finally got the chance to get away From all this shit that I been feeling that I'll prolly never say So I just hide behind my high until I find a better way Don't ignore the signs when they be right in front ya face And start to cry when I decide to take a shot at my escape, unh Poppin all these pills I can't skip a dose and if I do I get the chills Late on all my bills Credit score fucked And my girl just told me she don't love me anymore, fuck All this goin down and I can't get up out da bed I got a gray depression cloud that's hangin right on top my head And I can't shake it so I take another addy to the head And pray that shit'll get me focused but it hold me down instead, goddamn Been like this for bout a month or two Happens every year I swear this shit ain't even nothin new Mama prayin' for me asking God to tell her what to do My niggas like whats up with you and I respond like nothin' dude I don't need no help I solve my problems on my own I fight the darkness with a blunt and half a bottle of patron To silence all them evil thoughts that manifest when Im alone Before I try to find a Glock and blow em right up out my dome I can't help you out girl I got my problems of my own Leave my ass alone and take my number out ya phone I won't ever listen til I'm bleedin' onna floor Or my thoughts of suicide turn to suicide doors Thoughts of suicide turn to suicide doors Thoughts of suicide turn to suicide doors Its okay This might be the day I die and its okay Its okay This might be the day I die and its okay Its okay This might be the day I die and its okay