Song parody of
Pickled Thief
by Mangled Crow
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Caught you red-handed, you blue-bellied, yellow-livered son of a gun
Here's the deal, buddy boy
You've gone and done me dirty
Left me feelin' real exposed and raw
So I hope you're feelin' thirsty
Now to paint a clearer picture,
Let's start with how we met
You left me your calling card
In the carpet of my wreck
Spelled out in broken glass
I saw the backseat window smashed
My speakers and my sub were gone
And you broke my trunk's pull tab
Well, I went on down to a winery
Got myself an old oak cask
Spent two weeks cleanin' it on out
And another trackin' you down
You see my friend, your fate is sealed
Left me no real good choice
Gonna putcha in that there barrel
I'ma leave ya there for months
But let's look at the bright side pal
You're lookin to eat real fine
Got all sorts of goodies for ya
It's not likely that you'll die
Not too quick at least,
Or at least that's what I hope
You'll have plenty in there to look at
So get used to your new home
25 gallons of rice vinegar
A dozen cloves of garlic
Whole container of red pepper flakes
2 whole bags of kosher salt
Bouqet of local dill weed
Followed by a full grown man
Top it off with some peppercorn
Water up to the fill line
Now I haven't done any stealin',
And I doubt you do much cookin'
But tonight at least, for different reasons
You and I are both Picklin' Thieves
Caught you red-handed, you blue-bellied, yellow-livered son of a gun
Here's the deal, buddy boy
You've gone and done me dirty
Left me feelin' real exposed and raw
So I hope you're feelin' thirsty
Now to paint a clearer picture,
Let's start with how we met
You left me your calling card
In the carpet of my wreck
Spelled out in broken glass
I saw the backseat window smashed
My speakers and my sub were gone
And you broke my trunk's pull tab
Well, I went on down to a winery
Got myself an old oak cask
Spent two weeks cleanin' it on out
And another trackin' you down
You see my friend, your fate is sealed
Left me no real good choice
Gonna putcha in that there barrel
I'ma leave ya there for months
But let's look at the bright side pal
You're lookin to eat real fine
Got all sorts of goodies for ya
It's not likely that you'll die
Not too quick at least,
Or at least that's what I hope
You'll have plenty in there to look at
So get used to your new home
25 gallons of rice vinegar
A dozen cloves of garlic
Whole container of red pepper flakes
2 whole bags of kosher salt
Bouqet of local dill weed
Followed by a full grown man
Top it off with some peppercorn
Water up to the fill line
Now I haven't done any stealin',
And I doubt you do much cookin'
But tonight at least, for different reasons
You and I are both Picklin' Thieves
