The Last of the Paffly-Creems

The Last of the Paffly-Creems Rugged and flexed Narrowed to a point A sparrow taunts the sun This forest of my ancestors doth anoint I am the last of the Paffly-Creems A hailstorm A shadow A crab A hare Why must this Boreal owl but only stare? I am the last of the Paffly-Creems Naked and confused I sit upon my throne Of empty Captain Morgan bottles So very alone I am the last of the Paffly-Creems My castle once stood So erect and proud But now hides in the shadows But barely endowed I am the last of the Paffly-Creems Cockfuck moss! Suffocating my walls Idiot ivy! Does lurcheth and sprawl I am the last of the Paffly-Creems My mind rots From the Captain and syphilis I fear I will never Transcend from this haunted chrysalis I am the last of the Paffly-Creems Just shat myself I am the last of the Paffly-Creems Here they come! Over the hill Intent on making My tired blue-blood spill! I am the last of the Paffly-Creems Their finery is most strange The colour of luminous mandarin Which denies the rain To soaketh their skin I am the last of the Paffly-Creems What witchery is this! These rectangle things That can taketh illuminated manuscripts And do rings and rings! I am the last of the Paffly-Creems They come to me holding A strange map of sorts It must be a trick To steal my encrusted, dry fort! I am the last of the Paffly-Creems Excuse me I excuse you not sir! Now feeleth my blade Pierce your strange orange fur Screaming will not help Bring him back from the dead Now watch me dear strumpet Chop off his traitorous head! I am the last of the Paffly-Creems Make peace with your god You treacherous witch My sword will now make Your grave this reeking ditch! I'm sure many more traitors Will soon to follow Through the night And onto the morrow I am not equipped for such a battle Without more support I fear there is but only One last resort They want my castle Then god be praised! Have it they shall After I set it ablaze! Gentle, merciful fire Does enwrap my soul I am finally free From this festering shit-hole! Ha! ha! ha! ha! Ha! ha! ha! Ha! ha! ha! Ha! ha! ha! hot!! He was the last of the Paffly-Creems More inbred and insane a family No one has ever seen So let's raise a pint of the ol' Captain To his haunted dreams And may he find his way out of hell Through his Diabolical schemes