In Media Res

I'm the Thought Brownie, what's in a name I disclaim that I am tame, I have no claim to fame I'll take the blame for this name I'm trying to be clever Take a bite and get high on my modest endeavour Picking this name gives me illusion of choice I extend the illusion to find my voice And I get it set to music though I may be out of depth It soothes my soul and my mental health Of course I needed therapy in case you couldn't tell Instead I choose to hip and hop with words and excel at self-care because of a strange experience When a therapist I spoke to said Hey yo go make new friends I didn't go back I closed that door Things faded to black, my silent screams ignored I swerved off track, ran a different course This camel's back broke, straws fell with full force I had to crumble, got to be whole again Not a second coming, I feel born again I'll suffer nevermore, enjoying earthly realms Making haste slowly, I'll carpe my diems I may be easily dismissed by diss track writers At a distance I won't be distracted by insiders I distill, I design with my charm I disarm My force undisturbed I still got both my arms The state of my joints is a different tale It's got to do with my bones, not the ones your buds inhale Your highness, with rheumatoid arthritis Despite added stress, my distress is at a minus Each beat of my heart is like a clock counting down I'm running out of time, as I march to its sound I'll make peace with ease, know this ticking will cease Burn out or fade away, I'm looking in for release I looked in that space in my head every day My mind meandered and I lost my way I return to my paper and my pen and my thoughts Four lines every time, dropping words like it's hot My bars and my cadence, fresh and nascent I'll show up, I'm consistent, I'm never complacent Out damned spot. I forgot self-doubt I face no drought, I wrote my way out In this ocean of thought I began to immerse I chose words, I turned inward I started penning verse About my quirks and all that hurts, all interspersed With bursts of wisdom, no curses, no slurs Whatever transpires, whether fates conspire These skills I acquire, I will never retire Always get to admire, these legends that inspire Who light a million flames, through their inner fires So many to pick, I better be quick Naezy, Brodha V, Divine, Nas, Kendrick Eminem, Mister Nair, Black Thought, Jay-Z Missy, Lupe, Logic, Lauryn Hill amaze me And take me through the wire, through Sunday school choir Ye Lin, you made me wish Burr's gun had misfired You all gave me permission, now I write, I aspire My head is in the heights, can we get much higher Ye Coming down was the easiest thing I'm grateful for the grounding philosophies bring bearing outrageous fortunes like arrows, like slings Or bearing nothing, not even a prayer and a wing I question using one method, Socratic Duck in and out of Plato's cave, I'm pragmatic Thoughts stem from Aristotelian logic These grand old ideas drive me totally ecstatic Classic constructs struck me as enigmatic Swiping left on banality, things got dramatic My daily stoic dose moves me, I'm never static My senses grow sharper, I see much more magic Of course I said magic, everything is meaningless I assess all excessive mess in life for less stress Yes, unless, a greater calling makes me pause Accept my flaws with applause I think broad, forget rewards I won't be bogged, I'll strike a chord Find worth being worthy, my actions will be wordy Operatic, maybe, maybe I will keep going on With a new lease of life, I feel reborn I'll get behind causes that help YOU advance Defy the odds, be on your squad, enhance every chance How much does it matter? Who am I to judge? I'll put my shoulder to the wheel, give it a little nudge The wheel didn't budge voices kept saying no Overcome my own resistance? That's the loftiest of goals I won't be nervous, I'm doing me a service Every time I rap, I'm running after purpose I inspire me, therapy isn't cheap I roll my rock up this slope that's ever so steep Through fire, through Frost, with promises to keep I sleep deeper writing bars than when I ever counted sheep What I write is pretty simple transparent, see through In my debut, I pursue stories from your points of view I use a lot of "I"s, though all my eyes on you I feel heard and seen. End scene. Thank you