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Thought Brownie

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I'm the Thought Brownie, what's in a name
I disclaim that I am tame, I have no claim to fame
I'll take the blame for this name I'm trying to be clever
Take a bite and get high on my modest endeavour
Picking this name gives me illusion of choice
I extend the illusion to find my voice
And I get it set to music though I may be out of depth
It soothes my soul and my mental health
Of course I needed therapy in case you couldn't tell
Instead I choose to hip and hop with words and excel
at self-care because of a strange experience
When a therapist I spoke to said
Hey yo go make new friends
I didn't go back I closed that door
Things faded to black, my silent screams ignored
I swerved off track, ran a different course
This camel's back broke, straws fell with full force
I had to crumble, got to be whole again
Not a second coming, I feel born again
I'll suffer nevermore, enjoying earthly realms
Making haste slowly, I'll carpe my diems
I may be easily dismissed by diss track writers
At a distance I won't be distracted by insiders
I distill, I design with my charm I disarm
My force undisturbed I still got both my arms
The state of my joints is a different tale
It's got to do with my bones, not the ones your buds inhale
Your highness, with rheumatoid arthritis
Despite added stress, my distress is at a minus
Each beat of my heart is like a clock counting down
I'm running out of time, as I march to its sound
I'll make peace with ease, know this ticking will cease
Burn out or fade away, I'm looking in for release
I looked in that space in my head every day
My mind meandered and I lost my way
I return to my paper and my pen and my thoughts
Four lines every time, dropping words like it's hot
My bars and my cadence, fresh and nascent
I'll show up, I'm consistent, I'm never complacent
Out damned spot. I forgot self-doubt
I face no drought, I wrote my way out
In this ocean of thought I began to immerse
I chose words, I turned inward I started penning verse
About my quirks and all that hurts, all interspersed
With bursts of wisdom, no curses, no slurs
Whatever transpires, whether fates conspire
These skills I acquire, I will never retire
Always get to admire, these legends that inspire
Who light a million flames, through their inner fires
So many to pick, I better be quick
Naezy, Brodha V, Divine, Nas, Kendrick
Eminem, Mister Nair, Black Thought, Jay-Z
Missy, Lupe, Logic, Lauryn Hill amaze me
And take me through the wire, through Sunday school choir Ye
Lin, you made me wish Burr's gun had misfired
You all gave me permission, now I write, I aspire
My head is in the heights, can we get much higher Ye
Coming down was the easiest thing
I'm grateful for the grounding philosophies bring
bearing outrageous fortunes like arrows, like slings
Or bearing nothing, not even a prayer and a wing
I question using one method, Socratic
Duck in and out of Plato's cave, I'm pragmatic
Thoughts stem from Aristotelian logic
These grand old ideas drive me totally ecstatic
Classic constructs struck me as enigmatic
Swiping left on banality, things got dramatic
My daily stoic dose moves me, I'm never static
My senses grow sharper, I see much more magic
Of course I said magic, everything is meaningless
I assess all excessive mess in life for less stress
Yes, unless, a greater calling makes me pause
Accept my flaws with applause
I think broad, forget rewards
I won't be bogged, I'll strike a chord
Find worth being worthy, my actions will be wordy
Operatic, maybe, maybe I will keep going on
With a new lease of life, I feel reborn
I'll get behind causes that help YOU advance
Defy the odds, be on your squad, enhance every chance
How much does it matter? Who am I to judge?
I'll put my shoulder to the wheel, give it a little nudge
The wheel didn't budge voices kept saying no
Overcome my own resistance? That's the loftiest of goals
I won't be nervous, I'm doing me a service
Every time I rap, I'm running after purpose
I inspire me, therapy isn't cheap
I roll my rock up this slope that's ever so steep
Through fire, through Frost, with promises to keep
I sleep deeper writing bars than when I ever counted sheep
What I write is pretty simple transparent, see through
In my debut, I pursue stories from your points of view
I use a lot of "I"s, though all my eyes on you
I feel heard and seen. End scene. Thank you

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