My Floppy Soggy Wet Cardboard Problem
Cardboardi B
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So it started one day not long ago Getting laid proved a difficult order to follow No one seemed to want to fucking suck this dick Enough to make a box flip a shit Couldn't get it in if it was key and lock Size doesn't matter when you've got a cardboard cock Got invited by a girl to come plunder down under Went to stick it in, then came the blunder Ugh I couldn't get it hard I couldn't get it hard Flopping sogging wet cardboard Why the f*ck is this shit so hard? Ugh Why's this shit so hard? Why's this shit so hard? Not my dick though for a start Why the f*ck is this shit so hard? Shit's more fucked than my grandma's dentures After Viagra hand outs at the senior center Sure I've got my red wings, I can fly But does that make me less of a guy? She's so fucking beautiful, sent from above I don't dare say it but I think I'm in love Tried to put the condom on, it fit like a glove A glove for my penis but it wouldn't stay up Ugh "Is it in?" I asked, the lights were on I couldn't feel her thrusts, man was something wrong? Goddamn it's probably all the meds I'm on They're the reason I'm rapping along to this song I'm not pulling down her thong, giving her the dong My Donkey Kong in her country all day long Played with that shit like she's using tongs Tossed my salad at the buffet but I'm too far gone Can't get it up when I need it the most Tried to f*ck and Danny done did gone ghost This ain't a warning, this ain't a boast This is my life, I've got to make the most of this shit Why's this shit so hard? Why's this shit so hard? Flopping sogging wet cardboard Why the f*ck is this shit so hard? Ugh Why's this shit so hard? Why's this shit so hard? Not my dick though for a start Why the f*ck is this shit so hard? All my fellas in the crowd, you know who you are If you can't get it up Then it's time to get down Hahahahaha! Yeah yeah yeah yeah Here we go now y'all Ooh Why's this shit so hard? Why's this shit so hard? Flopping sogging wet cardboard Why the f*ck is this shit so hard? Ugh Why's this shit so hard? Why's this shit so hard? Not my dick though for a start Why the f*ck is this shit so hard? Non-monogamous, I am loving this Together we'll weather anything, you're so precious Like a gemstone, not Gabourey Sidibe I'd elaborate but I don't want to be mean You mean everything to me a breath of life I want to take you to the bed and soak your sheets so dry On top of a blanket you crocheted next to your cat Girl you've got a fucking talent That's a motherfucking fact I want to meet your expectations of my meat I beat myself up 'cause this brother can't skeet In your sweet treat, what a feat I would love to do Mountain dew you from the back like a soda jerker dude You deserve the best sex you'll ever get in your life How could you ever settle for my fucked up one-eyed Snake that can't even frost your flakes No this shit ain't good and it definitely ain't Great! Why's this shit so hard? Why's this shit so hard? Flopping sogging wet cardboard Why the f*ck is this shit so hard? Why's this shit so hard? Why's this shit so hard? Not my dick though for a start Why the f*ck is this shit so hard? Man, f*ck my fucking dick Not literally I mean though, I just I can't get it up F*ck! Or rather, no f*ck Because- well, you get it Man, I don't know F*ck my fucking luck First girl I go to f*ck and you know I get fucking ED I'm gonna be a fucking 25 year old on Viagra What the f*ck? Makes me want to go out to the farm and just smack a potato Or eat a raw fucking ho-ho Man, just F*ck my fucking cardboard dick!
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