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G-Grandpa?
Why have you disturbed my slumber?
I-I'm so sorry. I came out to my mother and father, and they were so angry I ran out without much thought. I didn't mean to disturb you.
You're gay? So my theory's right!
T-Theory?
Yes, my little duckling. I theorized that lads who tend to ignore the advances of women fancy that of fellow males.
My lord, m-my lord. What do you know anyways! Are you gay?
Well, you see little one,
In my younger days, I wasted away on a poor farm
Funds never stocked up high, and I would often cry
Even though I was a hopeless mallard, woman I often courted
Once I hit my late teens, I left for the Big Apple
I invested in stocks even though my pockets lined with rocks
Eventually, I grew lucky with a few of my choices
And suddenly my funds grew boisterous
With my funds I ventured to a strip club where I found myself completely flaccid
That was until I saw the bartender, then I grew completely firm
That's when I realized I was attracted to other drakes
Which sparked a question in my brain:
Does being rich make you gay?
Well, that's what they say
As soon as funds started pouring in,
Woman became boring
Does being rich make you queer?
Well, hey, I am here
As soon as I bought shares of stocks
I started to like boys
Does being rich make you swing the other way?
'Cause after I bought a mansion
All I wanted was man friends, ooh
Even though I fucked and had been fucked by drakes
I had to hide my sinful ways behind a facade
So, I got married to a hen named Peggy
Everything was fine for a while, we mated once and it was repulsive
Luckily, she got pregnant to our one and only son, Joseph
While he grew, I still spent my time in bathhouses
But, unfortunately, I started growing weak and sick
A trip to the doctor later revealed I had AIDS
I explained it was probably from bad water, but I knew the truth
After the diagnoses, I spent several weeks dwindling down to nothing
A gay rich man, how sad, right?
Though the question in my head still remained:
Does being rich make you gay?
Well, that's what they say
As soon as funds started pouring in,
Woman became boring
Does being rich make you queer?
Well, hey, I am here
As soon as I bought shares of stocks
I started to like boys
Does being rich make you swing the other way?
'Cause after I bought a mansion
All I wanted was man friends, ooh

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