Fred

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Benefit Tanaka

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I ain't trynna piss you mom, but I kinda miss my dad
And I know, when it happened, yeah I was too young to understand
You were always sad
Wearing a faint smile, even when you laughed
I could see it in your eyes
Deep inside you wanna cry
'Cause of dad
By the way, granny had a part to play
I wasn't spying but she said everything right by that chair
I overheard it then I knew it
You would do it
Benny, momma is calling you, she says that it's urgent so yeah, you better move it
Well, as a nine year old
I listened as you told
All the woes
On my nose
Pouring, Victoria Falls
Looking puzzled in a daze
I know that it wasn't you
Daddy was now set to move
Momma you then told the news
You tried to keep me sheltered from it but somehow it seems
The harder that you try to do that, the more it just pushes me
Memories growing up always flooding in like a sea
I was listening to Nasty C
Then I was like, I gotta do this
You did not plan it to be this way, mom, listen to me
I am not asking, or expecting you and pops to just, you know, get back together again
Like it used to be before I was a teenager
But then of course, everything always happens for a reason
I guess it was never meant to be and it's just something we have no control over and that's what destiny is
So don't you worry, rest your head and go to sleep
I just wanna talk to Fred, just maybe 'bout a couple things
Hello Fred, this your son, Benefit Fred
I'm writing this song, lying in my bed
Last night, I was watching that show, with Robin, Barney, and Ted
And Marshall and Lily, and really it's silly
But the gist is when Barney visited his dad
Reminded me of that time me and mom
Visited you and instead
Of rejoicing and embracing me or sumn'
You asked moms who I was 'cause you ain't recognize your son
So hello Fred, it's your first son
I'm now in college, hope you proud of me, I'm a prodigy, in my spare time I make songs
And I been talking to your other kids
Took me a little time to accept them, 'cause I ain't had a dad because well, they did
And Fred, I don't resent you because you and moms broke up, you know?
I don't know what happened between the two of y'all, and I don't wanna know
Either of you could have been wrong, but if you wanna know
Why I'm not your biggest fan, well, bro
It's cause you ain't get to watch me grow
And if I had kids somewhere out there in the world
I'd at least, on occasion call
I'd wanna go there and see how they doin for sho'
So update, your oldest son is a mommas bwoy
And I used to get mad when people called me this till this epiphany
Who else's boy could I be when my daddy wasn't there for me?
And sometimes I fear I'm not gonna make a great dad
But now it's clear I'll just do the opposite of everything you did instead
Benefit Fred, this your friend, Leo
I read your text and my mind's also a cathedral
The echoes deep diving It's like finding Nemo
I got daddy issues too, guess we got a common Deebo
But my momma been around for me
Drama been a bouncy thing
Trauma been arousingly showing up when I try to flee
From this mind state that gets me wondering who I'm about to be
But I'm not gonna waste time dwelling in these shadows B
And so should you, stay true to yourself
'Cause It's only you that's living life for yourself
Not another dude, that's only a fraction of yourself
These are the same words that I used to say to myself
Now I'm passing them to you on some brotherly love
The inspiration you need, It's the past that made you who you are
Now go out there and represent the kids like us
Who're gonna be the best there ever was
It's love

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