Of Course That's What Happened

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The Prophet Obblonge

Erupting with preaching performances, The Prophet Obblonge explains, proclaims, transmutes, and delivers clarity to the masses for their edification and to bring awareness to the still uncertain fate of his beloved fiancé, last seen with a white supremacist narcissistic abuser in Michigan. Fans of horror fiction, true life drama, comedy, and pointed social commentary alike find Obblonge’s insightful, exasperated gospel to be an invigorating, motivating experience presented without fear of reproach or regret. What’s your problem? Issues resolved. Crises averted. Wonders explained. Be amazed. Lost? Depressed? Questions? The answers are waiting…. Everything is the repetition offa pattern. Everything. You can pretend you have free will. You can pretend you hav… more »

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 The easy, fast & fun way to learn how to sing: 30DaySinger.com

Cheesecake, alibi, creosote, love
You own one thing and one thing only, your body
Everything else can and will be taken from you
This body has one attribute, time

Martyr gelatinous green
The number of units this number is measured in
Is a permanently unknown variable
New car argument ratchet trap

If you only react to incoming sensory data
As a goldfish, a tiny koi
The Edwards Aquifer blind salamander
Your grandmother in that refractory period

After we had sex
Then your time never begins
And the primary emotions you will experience
While you are living will be fear, confusion

And bursts of monotony
Licking acrid mustard teal vivisection
Triumphant angles, distant maroon butterfly
Non-disc moonless, extinction myopia

FD&T blue number one, camel toe sputnik rutabaga
Vomitorium golf credenza
Your grandmother gives excellent head, by the way

Tuesday morning, near 3 a.m., another nightmare
My companions being murdered one by one just like a movie
I am always the hero
The last scene involved me smashing

The enemy's electrifying weapon with an ax
The metal head sending current back into the pilot's cage
Then, awake and aware, I am alone as usual
Darkness, box fan

My body is where I left it
On the concrete floor of the storage closet
A thin roll of foam and moving blankets separating
Finishing the chamomile tea

I know there are monsters outside the metal door
The tears streaming down my face have dug channels
Water is the great solvent
I don't bother wiping them away anymore

There are monsters outside the door, and I have an ax
I am always the hero

There in the beginning, that's what started it all
So the obblonge man fucking shot somebody
Or maybe couple of bodies, in Cincinnati

Or shit, maybe his art project that year was filming the third Dr. Phibes movie
And his budget didn't allow for the paying of actors
So he just used civilians that were unaware they were in a film
And that's where the whole necessity of being obblonge arose

Mel Brooks said that the louder one is the more people don't notice you
So, after doing the Johnny Cash
Folsom prison thing up in Cincinnati
He had to make sure the getting away was good and permanent

And that's why he specifically wrote
That he had never been to Cincinnati
Of course, that's what happened

 The easy, fast & fun way to learn how to sing: 30DaySinger.com