I Always Knew

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Shoreward

4:15

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I always knew
Things weren't right
It twitched like a nerve
In my eye
I was walking
In someone else's shoes
This wasn't me
I let my life be moulded
Like an old crooked tree
But I told myself
That's not enough
I gave more of myself
So there was nothing left

He turned away
I couldn't let him leave
I gave away my soul
Lived someone else's dream
The scars were made
Starting in my heart
Til it broke
Then they moved
To my head
Til it was full
Then they were pushed to my body
And I tried to scream
Was never heard
But did I scream enough

I wandered with no shoes
The pain barely registered
How could so much of my life
Be my fault

I was a shadow never being allowed
To exist in the sunlight
I walked the tightrope
Slipping wobbling

But I always knew
I always knew

I was always to blame
I was never enough
The head talked
The heart hurt
And I shrank
I always knew that I was more
But I couldn't move on my own
Tied to the fear
The head was right
The heart couldn't heal

So I had to get out
Wearing down those pills
Lifting one foot in front of another
Lightened the clenching in my heart

And I wandered with no shoes
The pain barely registered
But the view in my mind
Convinced me I could leave

Cos I was a shadow
Never being allowed to
Exist in the sunlight
I walked the tightrope,
Slipping wobbling

But I always knew
I always knew

It's time to walk
Time to run out of here
It's time to walk
Time to run out of here

Cos I am a shadow
Existing in my own sunlight
And I walk the tight rope now
But with my eyes closed and my hands tied

Cos I am a shadow existing in my own dam sunlight
I walk the right rope
With my eyes closed and my hands tied
Cos I always knew
That I was a silhouette
Waiting to be held up by
An artists paintbrush

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