Gargantua and Pantagruel by Rabelais
Mark Bingham
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Gargantua in Paris put cathedral bells on his horse And more of this discourse 11months in his Mother's womb She was eating tripe and drinking wine Gargantua grew and grew learning Latin by candle light The Lord of Suckfist and Pantagruel sang these songs to whoever would listen Shattard Squirtard Crackhead Turdous The bung has flung some dung on us Filthard Stinkard the Lord of Suckfist The bung has flung some dung on us There is no need of wiping one's tail, said Gargantua, Gargantua When it is foul, then we must drink before we wipe Said Gargantua Gargantua Now, I prithee, go on in this wipe-fumitory discourse And by my beard I swear, by the good Breton wine From the country of Verona to the hills of Texarkana Afterwards I wiped my bum with nutria in pantyhose After wards I wiped by bum with a cormorant and a lawyer's sack With a pouch, with a pannier, that was a wicked and fulfilling and Then with a hat, yes, a hat Of hats, please note that some are shorn others shaggy Some covered with taffeta, and others velvet or satin The best of all these is the shaggy shaggy hat, for it makes a neat pattern of the fecal matter Shattard Squirtard Crackheads Turdous The bung has flung some dung on us Filthard stinkard the lord of Suckfist The bung has flung some dung on us Afterwards I wiped my tail with pigeon's tongue and a lawyer's sack Afterwards I wiped my tail with a hen with a cock with an armadillo But, to conclude, I say and maintain, that of All the arsewisps, bumfodders, tail-napkins/bunghole cleansers, and wipe-breeches There is none in the world compares to the neck of a goose The neck of a goose, if you hold her head betwixt your legs And believe me on my honor, you will feel in your nockhole A pleasure that passeth understanding Communicated to the bum-gut Even to the regions of the heart and brain said, Gargantua, Gargantua
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