KP's Got Some Theories

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Hugh Fays

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KP’s got some theories
They might not be true
But KP’s got some theories for you
You never see an old man having a Twix
They’re always eating Werther’s to get their fix
What’s good for some is not always good for all
You have to know what will make you feel 10 feet tall
I’m no Latin tattoo specialist, but there’s one thing that I know
It’s that “old cold” is the way to keep stones out of your kidneys
The Chinese don’t age very well
Is he the oldest man alive? It’s tough to tell
Turning like a pear overnight
Between 29 and 50 - there’s not one sight
Get some good wedding photos of your bride if she’s Chinese, take it from me
One day you’ll wake up and see you’re next to a wrinkled old lady
Gays go out too late at night, if
Georgie had been home sooner, he’d have been alright
Only starting to get ready when I’m coming in
They're ironing their jeans at half past ten
Why’s the sex shop open, selling all these buttplugs at 8am?
Their customers are in bed, ‘cause it’s clear that they had another late night
KP’s got some theories
They might not be true
But KP’s got some theories for you
KP’s got some theories
They might not be true
But KP’s got some theories for you
KP’s got some theories
They might not be true
But KP looks after me and you

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