Self to Note (feat. Kyleen-Elyse)

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Logikil

3:44

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Lately I've been treating you like a job and less like a diary 
Some how I've gotten lost in attempts at finding me 
Anxiety anxiety anxiety anxiety 
Moments of clarity then it's back to anxiety 
Looking back cuz they trying me, they want me to fail 
The cops want me in prison these haters want me in hell
I've been reading bout the laws and how to profit from sales 
How to play the game so perfectly and not be derailed 
But see a thinker like me becomes a prisoner fast 
Overthinking the little while overlooking the mass 
Watching out for the hooks but never peeping the jabs 
Studying patience but then apply it too fast 
I'm in a state of reflection in a state of confusion
Cuz when the image is reflected I can see who the truth is 
But when I'm turning my neck see now the vision is useless 
Because it isn't working when I try to grip it and use it 
Yea I know it's confusing, pardon the scatter 
My brain's cluttered with chatter with pieces cut up and shattered 
I keep confronting the challenge while throwing curves at the batter
If life is a piece of cake then I'm stuck in the batter 
My mom got a disease, my grandfather as well
Don't know how to approach it, it's like who should I tell? 
Should I break down and cry, pray to God for a spell 
Or a potion of magic to rid their bodies of hell? 
I wanna cry like a kid maybe get some attention 
Some empathy for my stress and sympathy for the tension 
But this ain't high school and I've forgotten to mention 
That even if I wanted to I couldn't even project it 
I'm too numb, something in me is off
The business mind I got is lurking in and it's opening doors 
But closing all the others the ones I've opened before 
And kept them open with a notion, I was hoping for more 
But slowly they're closing, the wells starting to dry 
Gaining weight as they close and getting harder to pry 
Self medicate and let some liquid courage inside 
And now the door's a feather for a brief moment in time 
I'm sorry for all the time I put between us for real 
I figured I would shelter you until I got me a deal 
They ain't ready for your truth, for what you'll reveal 
By showing them you, we'll show them how to feel 
Damn, but there's a timing for everything 
I'm feeling boxed in, I can't do or say anything 
A one trick pony's what I gotta pretend to be
Just to garner some fans but really gather my enemies  
I know you understand, you're always there in my times 
Of depressive mental illness that I cure with the rhyme 
Thanks for listening again, feels good for the mind 
To put my thoughts in my notes, talk to you and unwind. 
Al

Why do I keep forgetting about you?
When you're the only one who really knows the truth 
Only thing I know helps me get through 
I'll never stray again I give my word to you 

I know it's hard sometimes 
Relax, let go of your mind 
Sit back and take some time 
Do you, for you, push through 
You've got to make the move 
No one's gonna do it for you 
I know it's hard sometimes 
Relax, let go of your mind

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