Solace

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Caleb McCleney

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I find Solace in being alone at family functions 
When you get older you see the flaws in how your family functions 
Cousin on dope he out of his mind 
But all this time I thought he was great thought he was doing fine 
But now
But now I just see his flaws 
Crazy all the time I see him struggling with withdrawals 
Then they ask me why I don't smoke 
Then they ask me why I don't drink 
I heard it from himself he can't even think without his weed 
Cuz I see the damage it do 
Nothing new this a generational problem down to me and you 
Kid pill poppers tell me something new 
Why does the news got to
Focus on who killed who 
Like I just wanted to see the wether 
Now I'm questioning should I watch the news ever 
Its all fake
It's all bloated propaganda 
Drinking my orange Fanta 
While me and grandmama banter 
Over another shooting 
Over another shooting 
Roll the clip 
But please be advised this is nothing like the movies 
And they we go to sports 
And act like nothing happened 
1 min ago a mommas baby died 
And now we laughing 
I'm sorry I guess it's our way of 
Coping with the madness 
What a tragic life 

So we get high to fly away 
Fly away to fly away yeah 
So we get high to fly away 
Fly away to fly away yeah 

And this on the Daily 
Thinking to myself like that somebody's baby 
But I don't care 
I got my check in the mail 
About to cop a new pair
Just to flex to my friends 
Away 

I don't want your money I just want your love 

Thought many times my hope fell like autumn leaves 
My soul never grew frail In times of need 
I kept consistent in hopes that one day I might succeed 
That day coming I can feel it like a autumn breeze 
Constantly looking for the key to life through others dogma 
I'm trying to find the bright side to every problem 
But that's hard when your baggage full of family trauma 
All I ever wanted was peace but I ain't no Dalai Lama 
But I found in it my music 
Maybe one day I'll get it perfect I'm only human 
Feeling lucid I'm floating through sound waves feeling muted 
I'm track to be a great but there ain't no rubric to follow 
Felling hollow from people cutting me short 
Can't question my drive can't question my heart 
Can't question my vision 
Turn 180 like Torque  
Maybe one day Ill find solace in all of my words 

Where did it go 
I do not know 
Where did it go 
I do not know 

I remember it's was summer 2016 
Big dreams was the only thing on my mind 
Didn't think a year later grandpa would've died 
And I stay in bed cuz there's stress on my mind 
Yeah 
Don't even wanna go outside 
Rather stay in the house and Reminisce on them times 
But it led to the music and I thank God for it 
Started making beats and it's was hard to ignore them 
So I guess I started rapping in silence 
Searching for guidance 
Late nights in my room I was rhyming 
Keep it a secret something I regret 
Then granny died wow look at the timing 
Well then I wrote When I Come Home 
As a memoir to remember the things that we did 
And that's something that I'll never forget 
So I write these memories so I can live them again 

Where did it go 
I do not know 
Where did it go 
I do not know

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