Bullied

ShyLockShyLock 

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ShyLock

5:15

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It's not true
Can we all agree this is just the beginning?
By the way, I've never really even spoken in front of this many people before
So I feel my heart, my heart is pounding
Breathe, breathe, breathe
I'll be okay, we'll come back to that in a second
If I'm still here
If I'm still here
Yeah, I've been bullied
Every day someone would push or pull me
I was short
In class pics I'm sittin' on the floor
Until high school grade 9, I'm almost 5'4
100 Pounds soaking wet
Soon as I walked through the door
They started calling me freak
Because I had green hair
And an eyebrow ring
And I just wanted to sing
But no one wants to hear a thing
That I ever had to say
While I'm running in and out of class always panicking
They don't know why, just give me pills and say it's anxiety
Then I'm expelled cuz now I'm a danger to society?
You think this is fun with all this inside of me?
It's been building up for years and nobody tries to see
What's really going on inside, just try to breathe
I know it's hard, just slow it down
The stutter will make you seize
Maybe you should think about not smoking so many trees
Oh please, it's my only release
I wish I wasn't like this
Cuz then I could be
A better version of me
That I could only wish to be
But I'll never see it
Because you've had me believe
That I'm worthless, a nervous wreck
That doesn't deserve to breathe
Well I'm here and I'm breathing and sick of having no freedom
I can't believe I believed them
Well now I'm gonna teach 'em
I've just been looking for a reason to justify screaming
At the top of my lungs 'til hell is finally freezing
And I'm walking the Far Field with memories of time
I'm just a grown man standing in a fuckin' playground crying
Thinking 'what happened?'
Where did the time go?
Comparing now to then
If only I could've known
What I know now
What I know now, back when it would've mattered
But I didn't, that's life, and it doesn't even matter
Cuz I did something recently, kinda changed my life
I went to my old school thinking this will shine some light
That's where the moon signaled the tide, it began to rise inside
Of me and suddenly
I almost began to cry
Waves rolling in my stomach
Almost too much to breathe
I was suddenly overcome
And flooded with memories
I could see it so clearly, so real, almost scary
I could see myself playing, no cares and no worries
Not like today when now I'm jaded by the things
Oh the lives you'd have to live to feel half of this pain
Cuz I've been through the things that I fear most in my dreams
Still going through this life just trying to earn my wings
And I'm walking the Far Field with memories of time
I'm just a grown man standing in a fuckin' playground crying
Thinking 'what happened?'
Where did the time go?
Comparing now to then
If only I could've known
What I know now
What I know now, back when it would've mattered
But I didn't, that's life, and it doesn't even matter
Don't you get it? I didn't wanna have to do this
But from the start I've been picked on 'til I broke down, I'm through with this
Was picking myself back up but couldn't do it
I was gaining some control but lost hold cuz I'm not ruthless enough
But I've been through this enough
I'm through with this, my foot's planted all and for once
Never again can anybody tell me to jump
Cuz now I'm fed up
Enough to be starting new
I decided to Spartan up
Harden up, get smarter and armor up
Guard is up, get darker
And sharpen up
Sharp enough to spark it
And start it up
Where's the love? I ain't done
I said I'm just starting up
Letting loose, a side that's been barred up, scarred up
Charred up and marked up with hard love and hard up
For something other than hard luck
And no bluff, no, I'm about to blow up
Now I smell blood like a shark
Is that fuckin' hard enough?
You'll be sorry you ever told me that I was never smart enough
All of this abuse has forced me to toughen up
I'm seeking out revenge for anybody that's had enough
Or had it rough, that's right, we're coming back to show 'em up
Today is a different day now that I'm here all grown up
Now you can't tell me shit without me stepping close and blowing up
What am I supposed to do? I'll go nose to nose 'til you're toes up
Til I find what I lost in the kid you used to hold up
Against a wall after I said that I'd had enough
Cuz I won't stop 'til either I find it or if my time is up
So push and pull me now but neither one will do much
Cuz when push comes to shove, just keep pushing, I'll never budge
And I'm walking the Far Field with memories of time
I'm just a grown man standing in a fuckin' playground crying
Thinking 'what happened?'
Where did the time go?
Comparing now to then
If only I could've known
What I know now
What I know now, back when it would've mattered
But I didn't, that's life, and it doesn't even matter
Because I'm here now
On the path to redemption
More like a war path
My past has taught me a lesson
Don't let anybody tell you what you can or can't do
It's not true, anything you can set your mind to can be done
Look at me
Damn right that I'm living proof
I stand here now shouting my message out to all of you
I believe in you, long as your mission's to do good
Standing here with the Moon as my witness
I'll be understood

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