Knot In My Throat
Melodik Tribe
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Had a dream about my teeth melting out my gums, in panic Felt around with my thumb, f*ck my premolars are gone Buckets of blood, I swear I think pain is my chum "What’s happened?" My brother asking as I wake up so stunned Biting my tongue, he was a sponge so absorbent to my notions Watching Goosebumps to distract us from all our commotions Just a nuisance to the world waiting for our moment But back then we were twelve writing down on our devotions I was so scared to tell lil bro I cried an ocean Dreams so lucid I see shadows in my room, I'm frozen Don't know how my thoughts foreshadowed pain, I think I'm chosen We were catching Z's when our bedroom door flew wide open My brother snoring and I tried to wake his ass up Knocked out cause for dinner we had pasta I started praying to the Lord and to my pastor, it might pass But in my past, I’d go ghost like Danny Phantom Like The Shining, Danny Torrance, I was just as shy Will I be on CSI? All I did was close my eyes But I swear I wasn't dreaming, time was 3:45 I was just a kid, my dolls were cryin' blood out their eyes Bedtime story, The Conjuring, in this book I might die I know I could have ran away but just as soon as I tried F*ck, I smelled the liquor and the rotten egg Shit, it’s floating near my bed Maybe it can read my head Maybe it’ll leave if I play dead Another full moon, another nightmare Healing crystals in my room but what do I care? When I manifest, nothing happens, I can't thrive here Run with a Thriller vest to a sunset from Syre And this knot in my throat And this knot in my throat And this knot in my throat Make me want to just go Cause bitches won’t believe Cause bitches won’t believe Cause bitches won’t believe The fear that’s killing me So trauma was established Teenager bumpin' Travis Coming of age, was in a rage Cause momma left me stranded Wonderland in Alice Got so bad, I'm embarrassed I just cried, I slapped my face Pinched my thighs, called it balance I’d walk inside my house after a long fuckin' day I'm greeted by a million roaches on my fuckin' tray Infestation of the mind, I know it sounds kinda cliche What an omen to wake up smelling a pretty dead bouquet The people in my life resented their every move So how could I speak out about panic attacks at noon? I rather lay in bed and listen to the house of balloons Now I’m ahead of my time healing to songs by Oshun But this knot in my throat won’t let me figure me out I'm too busy thinking about what you’re thinking about To this day I hate clout, all day just running your mouth Some days I log out cause I'm tryna keep my feet on the ground Just a facade like improv I was falsely living my life A christian kid with no pager or credit card to swipe Read the bible with my bro to guarantee heaven when we died I look back get hella sad, hell used to scare me day n' night Used to dream about going to the full moon like Kid Cudi There were times when it truly felt like yo' girl had nobody I knew I had to fucking focus on a future and study Maybe then my cloudy days would start to feel something sunny Another full moon, another nightmare Healing crystals in my room but what do I care? When I manifest, nothing happens, I can't thrive here Run with a Thriller vest to a sunset from Syre And this knot in my throat And this knot in my throat And this knot in my throat Make me want to just go Cause bitches won’t believe Cause bitches won’t believe Cause bitches won’t believe The fear that’s killing me Back then I couldn’t focus, always clenching my jaw Fucking lost, I had no iPhone or a Twitter.com Every time I needed to tell someone something was wrong I’d sing to “Last Resort” by Papa Roach, my favorite song As I grew up intrusive thoughts became so triggering If I got run over and died my guts become peace lilies What a relief that I never acted on my urge to leave I'm sorry for the scars right under my DC hoodie sleeves You know those scary movie scenes where you're brushing your teeth? And all along you’re being watched by something freaking obscene Sometimes it really be your own toxic family Mal de ojo, evil eye, jealousy's the same thing Grew up on love that's conditional and betrayal too Got used to it, on repeat TWENTY88 Deja Vu I thank God me and my Leo sibling are still stuck like glue As long as we got each other we can survive feeling blue This cycle of abandonment and being chosen again Forever breaking that or I’ll lose myself in the end Find my peace of mind no matter where my path is in For now I’ll swim in circles, let a divine feminine cleanse And I know that with time I'll become wise and blessed Like the elevated Mani Marie, Majesty Ria, or Ash In fact selling my soul for gold is truly tempting in cash But I could only reach my richest self by burning my past Burning my past Another full moon, another nightmare Healing crystals in my room but what do I care? When I manifest, nothing happens, I can't thrive here Run with a Thriller vest to a sunset from Syre And this knot in my throat And this knot in my throat And this knot in my throat Make me want to just go Cause bitches won’t believe Cause bitches won’t believe Cause bitches won’t believe The fear that’s killing me
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"Knot In My Throat Lyrics." Lyrics.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 9 May 2024. <https://www.lyrics.com/lyric-lf/5236861/Melodik+Tribe/Knot+In+My+Throat>.
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