Jacob Yancho And The Average Day

Follow 0 fans

Jacob Yancho

7:58

7 Views

Playlists:

#1

 Become A Better Singer In Only 30 Days, With Easy Video Lessons!

Well, I woke up sitting inside the sink
Turned on the faucet and I took a drink
Stumbled outside, now I'm on my way
Struttin' 'round naked with a blue toupee
T'was a normal day

Out of the alley rolled a penguin man
Waddlin' down the street with a cane in his hand
Almost stepped on a lady takin' a nap
Brushed himself off and he tipped his cap
He's high flyin'
Like a squirrel around the world
Runnin' like a rabbit with a bad habit, yessir

Well, I was pulled into a sorority house
When one of the sisters took off her blouse
I said, "Sister, that looks mighty fun
But what will I tell the other nuns?"
They're gonna give you hell, Sister Marrywell

Well, a he is the moon and a she is the sun
There's a chocolate bunny in everyone
But the tooth fairy can't eat dairy
She's plaque-tose intolerant, very scary!
Gets an oat milk at Lou and Harry's

Well, I got a woman six foot tall
Sleeps in the kitchen with her feet in the hall
She'll give you a slap when you need a pinch
Weighs more by the foot than she does by the inch
She's a real beauty
A real cutie
A little moody

Well, I tied the knot in a real big hurry
Got married by a judge, they should've sent a jury
She's always tellin' me it's my fault
I take anything she says with a grain of salt
Plus a slice of lemon
And a shot of tequila

Well, you kicked my dog and I kicked your cat
There was never any need for that
Knick knack patty whack give a dog a bone
Stay with me baby, I want to be alone
With friends like you, who needs friends?

Well, I was stumbling around in the dark
Looking for that bottle of Maker's Mark
I reached my hand and I heard a yell
Just what I grabbed, I couldn't tell

Well, my girlfriend's father, he walked right in
He pulled out his hair and my head did spin
He loaded up his rifle and I went on the run
I dodged a bullet and I jumped the gun
I'm gonna live forever!
Or I'll die trying

The banker asked me for some money, said he's down on his luck
I looked at him and said, "I don't give a buck
To anyone who lies through their teeth"
If this banker's broke, I'm Toby Keith
I mean Toby Maguire
No, Toby Flenderson

Well my whole country was on the Titanic
Everybody was in a panic
Everyone was asking, "Which side are you?
Are you right, are you left, are you red, are you blue?"
I said, "I'm wet and cold"

Went out with a woman who was mighty fine
But the first thing she said was, "What's your sign?"
The very next day she blew her stack
Just because I didn't call her back
She's a maniac
What can I say? I'm amish
Or Polish or something like that

Well I used to have a lot of hair
Now the top of my head is bare
But I still got a mustache and a ten foot beard
Even the doctor thinks it's kind of weird
He's Brazlian

Well I was riding my horse in the red hot sun
We happened to pass a gas station
I didn't know how long my horse would last
So I went to the pump to fill her up with gas
She kicked me in the brain with her hoof
This song here is the proof

Well you ask me if I'm drunk or dumb
I just shrug and I sip some rum
It really shouldn't take a sleuth
To figure out the honest truth
Give a man a fish and you feed him for the day
But teach a man to fish and you
Well, you, you save yourself a fish, don't ya?

 Watch: New Singing Lesson Videos Can Make Anyone A Great Singer