Jacob Yancho And The Average Day
Jacob Yancho
Become A Better Singer In Only 30 Days, With Easy Video Lessons!
Well, I woke up sitting inside the sink Turned on the faucet and I took a drink Stumbled outside, now I'm on my way Struttin' 'round naked with a blue toupee T'was a normal day Out of the alley rolled a penguin man Waddlin' down the street with a cane in his hand Almost stepped on a lady takin' a nap Brushed himself off and he tipped his cap He's high flyin' Like a squirrel around the world Runnin' like a rabbit with a bad habit, yessir Well, I was pulled into a sorority house When one of the sisters took off her blouse I said, "Sister, that looks mighty fun But what will I tell the other nuns?" They're gonna give you hell, Sister Marrywell Well, a he is the moon and a she is the sun There's a chocolate bunny in everyone But the tooth fairy can't eat dairy She's plaque-tose intolerant, very scary! Gets an oat milk at Lou and Harry's Well, I got a woman six foot tall Sleeps in the kitchen with her feet in the hall She'll give you a slap when you need a pinch Weighs more by the foot than she does by the inch She's a real beauty A real cutie A little moody Well, I tied the knot in a real big hurry Got married by a judge, they should've sent a jury She's always tellin' me it's my fault I take anything she says with a grain of salt Plus a slice of lemon And a shot of tequila Well, you kicked my dog and I kicked your cat There was never any need for that Knick knack patty whack give a dog a bone Stay with me baby, I want to be alone With friends like you, who needs friends? Well, I was stumbling around in the dark Looking for that bottle of Maker's Mark I reached my hand and I heard a yell Just what I grabbed, I couldn't tell Well, my girlfriend's father, he walked right in He pulled out his hair and my head did spin He loaded up his rifle and I went on the run I dodged a bullet and I jumped the gun I'm gonna live forever! Or I'll die trying The banker asked me for some money, said he's down on his luck I looked at him and said, "I don't give a buck To anyone who lies through their teeth" If this banker's broke, I'm Toby Keith I mean Toby Maguire No, Toby Flenderson Well my whole country was on the Titanic Everybody was in a panic Everyone was asking, "Which side are you? Are you right, are you left, are you red, are you blue?" I said, "I'm wet and cold" Went out with a woman who was mighty fine But the first thing she said was, "What's your sign?" The very next day she blew her stack Just because I didn't call her back She's a maniac What can I say? I'm amish Or Polish or something like that Well I used to have a lot of hair Now the top of my head is bare But I still got a mustache and a ten foot beard Even the doctor thinks it's kind of weird He's Brazlian Well I was riding my horse in the red hot sun We happened to pass a gas station I didn't know how long my horse would last So I went to the pump to fill her up with gas She kicked me in the brain with her hoof This song here is the proof Well you ask me if I'm drunk or dumb I just shrug and I sip some rum It really shouldn't take a sleuth To figure out the honest truth Give a man a fish and you feed him for the day But teach a man to fish and you Well, you, you save yourself a fish, don't ya?
Become A Better Singer In Only 30 Days, With Easy Video Lessons!
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