What If?

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Patient Zer0

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What if I never asked to be born
What if my life crashed before yours
Oh I'm saying that my mind's not where it needs to be
Here I go thinking that my life's changed
In a minute I'll see that it's all the same
And this pain inside of my heart just fades to grey, to grey
Goodbye to the demons talking back to me
Goodbye I'll see you in hell
I'm lost in translation, a feeling of inquisition, the cold metal presses against my temple
And blows my mind
It blows my high, yeah
Here we go, far below
I can't hold on anymore, no no, no no
So I just got to work, leave my thoughts alone
Then when I come back home the voices they are not unknown
I pack a couple bowls and stay for my daily decay
My body rotten it's halfway laying inside of this casket I made
I'm dying but I wonder if they'll miss me
Think about the times I walked around with a smile on my face and kissed me
With a sadness creeping closely behind, and my reflection holding a gun to the back of my mind
I think that I been flying way too long
Will I ever fall
Will my name be called across the clouds yeah
Will my soul live on
'Cuz life is louder than the Jordans and the money and the bitches
Tell God to tell Satan that I'm no longer fucking with him
Tell momma I'll be back in no time, just keep the prayers
'Cuz I ain't just anybody, no, no, no I ain't just anybody
What if I never asked to be born
What if my life crashed before yours
Oh I'm saying that my mind's not where it needs to be
Here I go thinking that my life's changed
In a minute I'll see that it's all the same
And this pain inside of my heart just fades to grey, to grey
So now I'm popping prescriptions, just feeling it out
Too scared to tell my family and friends I know they sick of me by now
I know they sick of me by now, yeah that's the thought process, I know it, I know it
Can't stop from feeling so I numb it, it goes like this
Every fucking time I wanna save myself
But I feel like I'm drowning I can't hold my breath
And I know that this sounds like a cry for help, well
Maybe it is, yeah maybe it is
So I sit back and let these demons run around in circles in my mind
Haven't felt free in a while but sometimes I feel like floating I ain't ever coming down, down, down
So I just fade away
I turn to dust or maybe smoke that got inhaled from the last blunt I choked to get these feelings out my damn throat
And it kills me inside, that I ain't ever felt alive
So every day I wake up and die
I think that I been flying way too long
Will I ever fall
Will my name be called across the clouds yeah
Will my soul live on
'Cuz life is louder than the Jordans and the money and the bitches
Tell God to tell Satan that I'm no longer fucking with him
Tell momma I'll be back in no time, just keep the prayers
'Cuz I ain't just anybody, no, no, no I ain't just anybody
What if I never asked to be born
What if my life crashed before yours
Oh I'm saying that my mind's not where it needs to be
Here I go thinking that my life's changed
In a minute I'll see that it's all the same
And this pain inside of my heart just fades to grey, to grey

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