Brew Pub Rub

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John T. Wurzer

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It's getting harder and harder to walk into a bar 
And get a watered down domestic light beer
But I stopped in on a whim, felt creativity within
And now I'm close to shedding a tear

There are 75 craft beer selections, lagers, pilsners, and IPAs
And beers guaranteed to prolong erections 
That are flavored in 100, 000 different ways
They got pumpkin, double chocolate, coconut, coffee, orange, cherry 
And even gluten free
But these gastro brew pubs with their beer 
Drinking wine snob appeal don't appeal to me

I want to settle in, invisible
I just want to write a few poems with a Michelob Ultra by my side
But somehow in this day and age I can't order one
Because the selection has grown  too wide
It seems lately that every bar I walk into has a beer menu 
That ends at the end of page two
And stocks 50 draft beers guaranteed to thrill ya
It's like being in a Baskins Robbins with no Vanilla...Ice Cream
It makes me want to SCREAM
Who turned off the LITE
It isn't right.  Someone turned off my Lite

All this beer snobbery, it appears to me, is just juice for lame conversation
Somehow sitting around and "talking beer" is a sad excuse for communication
Reminds me of Facebook, Twitter, Tumbler, Snap Chat
Texting, and even cell phone beaming
The easier we make it to touch one other
The easier it is to let the touch have no meaning

It's getting harder and harder to walk into a bar 
And get a watered down domestic light beer
So I guess I'll go home and I'll drink all alone
I don't want to talk to anyone who is here

Someone turned off the Lites

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