Butt Chugging

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Captain Chemical

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BUTT CHUGGING 
Drop those assumptions that you’ve been lugging 
Today’s stupid pastime is called butt chugging 
You could drink with your mouth, but that has no class
If you wanna be cool, you drink with your ass 

It starts with a funnel or maybe a tube 
Just slide it right in, you don’t even need lube
Just lie on your back, your knees in the air 
Pour in a shot, or more if your dare 
 
I was asking around, and all have denied it 
But I’m sure some of you out there must have tried it 
You want to get drunk, they say this way is quicker
Just fill up your ass with some kind of liquor 

Goes straight to your bloodstream, that is the story
Like some kind of liquid suppository 
You ain’t gonna puke and it’s not on your breath
Of course alcohol poisoning can lead to your death

Enema pleasure is called klismaphilia
It isn’t as weird as, say, necrophilia 
But alcohol stings like a bad paper cut 
Except not your fingers but inside your butt 

It might be uncomfortable when you try to sit 
And suddenly feel like you must take a shit 
But it doesn’t involve any illegal drugs
Yet you still can get wasted from doing butt chugs

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