The Drinking Man's Diet

Allan ShermanAllan Sherman 

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Allan Sherman

Allan Sherman (born Allan Copelon; November 30, 1924 – November 20, 1973) was an American comedy writer and television producer who became famous as a song parodist in the early 1960s. His first album, My Son, the Folk Singer (1962), became the fastest-selling record album up to that time. His biggest hit single was "Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh", a comic novelty in which a boy describes his summer camp experiences to the tune of Ponchielli's Dance of the Hours. more »

Year:

2005

2:41

153 Views

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Oh, I'm on the Drinking Man's Diet,
It came from a book I was loaned.
It's really terrific and quite scientific
And I'm half stoned.
For breakfast some cornflakes and vodka,
But cornflakes have carbohydrates
So I don't eat those fattening cornflakes,
I eat the vodka straight. 
Drink, drink, everyone drink
It's not as bad as we used to think.
With every Manhattan your stomach will flatten,
So drink, drink, drink.

The Air Force invented this diet,
A fact which they hotly deny.
Of course they deny it, cause this is the diet
That got the Air Force high.
For lunch you can have three martinis,
What better lunch is there than that?
But caution: do not eat the olives,
Cause olives make you fat.

Drink, drink, everyone drink;
It's not as bad as we used to think.
If pounds you would burn off, then turn on your Smirnoff,
And drink, drink, drink.

For dinner, a nice Scotch and soda
Now that ought a help you to lose.
No whipped cream, no butter, just lay in the gutter
And booze, booze, booze.
Suppose you should meet a policeman,
Who says you've been quenching your thirst
You just tell him it's physical fitness
And health comes first!

Drink (hick), drink (hick), booze everywhere (hick)
Pass that decanter of bourbon there.
I'm fatter than ever, but here's what's so clever:
I don't care

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